Currently before the Replay Chatbox Parole Board:

JULY 31, 2020

To the Warden,

Two or three years back I got especially drunk on rum (like I get mad skitz on rum) and I ran into what I could only assume were a couple of other rum drinkers at the tables. Once i'd woken up from my power nap/blackout on the front lawn the next morning, I had been permabanned from the chatbox. I was in rare form, I can only assume I deserved it.

I've currently served 24 - 36 months time, and ask that the rest of my indefinite sentence be commuted.

It will please the parole board to know that I no longer drink rum.

Thank you for your consideration,

Bush Chook (EmuExport)