If we are going to be Replay "friends," I think it is somewhat important that the friendship is not hollow or meaningless. Therefore, the following is some information about me that I hope will foster a good relationship. I love to hold hands, take long walks on the beach--although I do not live close to one currently--and talk about pretty much nothing of any material consequence for hours on end, not to mention listening--Oh, boy, how I love to do that! And I never, ever bluff at poker--really. Wink-wink.

Some of my "likes" (in no particular order): 1) Corvettes 2) playing golf 3) playing winning poker 4) enjoying my backyard 5) raising cattle--although I am not raising any these days, I still like to eat them--oh so yummy in my tummy! 6) living in the country --nature and quietude are wonderful 7) (things related to the 2nd amendment--shhh.)

Not so much--unlikes--(also in no particular order): 1) living in a city--done that for far too many years early in life (mostly San Francisco through high school). 2) lies and/or cheating--I really, really, really hate those two things. 3) The Modus Operandi of, what I call, "The 300 Club" (so named due to their general rankings here at Replay--300,000+) AKA "Bingo Players": Pre-flop pushing in of chips for the purpose of quick gain. I understand the strategy. I just don't think people would do that very often if they were playing with real money. To me, it just devalues the overall faux poker experience. 4) tyranny. 5) losing--I mean, after all, I'm a guy.

My Personal Poker Motto #1: --Most of the time, apparently--"Fold the winners; Play the losers." (On a somewhat loosely connected note: I have never bought a single chip here at Replay Poker.}

My Personal Poker Motto #2: "Never ever underestimate the determination of a devious flop to devastate and render utterly useless two wonderful and highly valued hole cards!"

My Personal Poker Motto #3: "Play it tight." When I do, I usually do well. When I do not, I usually fail.

My Personal Poker Motto #4: "The Replay River giveth, and the Replay River taketh away." Beware the Replay River.

My Personal General Life Motto: Si possus hic recitare, tenes multus quoque disciplina (sarcasm required). (BTW: IF you can translate this accurately WITHOUT using a translator program or a latin dictionary, please drop me a note.)

A bit of personal wisdom: I now understand why the last card is called "the river"--you could be doing quite well through the turn, but that last card will have you waving good bye to your chips as they float along downstream to some other player's dock.

Now, if you have read this far, you deserve something of value, a small reward, if you will. (I have never read a poker book of any kind. I have learned by watching, trying, and mentally noting what seems to work. I find that not having a rigid system keeps my game more "fluid," if you will and, therefore, makes it harder to predict what I am doing.)

My real name is Mike--please call me Toucan at the tables--and strategically, as far as poker is concerned, I play a pretty decent game of "Ambush Predator." If I am on my game, I'll let my potential prey get over-confident until heavily committed, and then I spring my trap, or at least grab a chunk of chips. Of course, I have a variety of strategies, like losing a few obviously amateurishly played hands to set players up for the trap. Another strategy is to plant seeds of distraction like this diatribe to mislead those who want a "leg up" on my play. Heh, heh. See you at the tables, and please, please, please bring lots of chips. :-) We'll have fun, fun, fun--'til daddy takes your t-bird away.