Golf Ball Makers Infected by Dice Pip Fail Virus

By Scott Roeben, on September 10 2024
2 min read 1 comment
Las Vegas Las Vegas WTF

We have droned on endlessly about the “dice pip problem” for years now. The “problem” has now become an epidemic, extending even to the world of golf.

What is the problem? Often, when dice are depicted, designers screw up the pips (the spots). The opposite sides of dice always add up to seven. That means numbers that add up to seven can’t be side-by-side. It’s an unforgiveable mistake.

Recently, two major golf ball manufacturers have released botched dice pips, Callaway and TaylorMade. This simply cannot stand.

More like FailerMade.

TaylorMade debuted in 1979. The company’s early success was due to its metal drivers, one of which should be used to remind whoever designed their new golf balls to always, always check the dice pips.

From the description of these golf balls, you can tell TaylorMade is trying hard to tap into the excitement of craps: “You won’t have to rely on a lucky roll when you put the TP5 and TP5x pix Dice golf balls in your bag. TP5 is the softest five-layer ball on Tour, and TP5x is the fastest—it’s also now 1/2-club longer.”

The balls are part of a casino-themed set. Honestly, it doesn’t matter what flair is included, you botch the balls, you’re dead to us. Despite the fact we don’t golf and wouldn’t know a dimple from a divot.

That’s not the point. The point is we need to have things to be indignant about, and dice pips is one of those things.

Examples of pip fails are everywhere, but it just seems worse coming from big companies who should know better.

Next pip gaffe culprit: Callaway.

Callaway is one of the premier golf ball makers in the world, yet finds itself in a FUBAR sand trap with its “Supersoft Casino Golf Balls.”

There are real casino dice (note the sharp corners), right there. Just jab us in the eye with a craps stick, already.

Not only did Callaway screw up its dice pips, it managed to get both its dice wrong. That’s some world-class screw-uppery right there.

You can check out more dice pip fails in our archives, or just look around for dice and you’re bound to see some blatant blunders.

Dice pip fails are everywhere.

A note to our fellow youths: Fails used to be called “mistakes,” and before that, they were called “boners.” No, really. Please note our self-restraint, despite the fact “ball boners” just rolls off the tongue, so to speak. It’s call maturity.

What happens when pip fails are called out? Usually, nothing. In some cases, though, businesses listen and rectify their transgressions.

We’re always happy to get pip fails you discover, as we are not omniscient, despite all the evidence to the contrary.

It is incumbent upon all of us to keep a watchful eye on this insidious pip fail parasite as it continues to spread. Remain watchful, publicly ridicule the transgressors whenever possible and hopefully we can detect and isolate such inexcusable lapses until a cure can be found.